30 Reasons to Consider an Open Marriage


1.    There’s no expiration date on your life

Your social freedom doesn’t come to a cataclysmic end at the moment of your marriage. You can still be friends with whoever you want, start new relationships and enjoy sexual relationships with whoever you want. Now you’re just guaranteeing that the person you love more than all others will be along with you for the ride.

2.    Dare to be different

Many people like to think that they are free thinkers, but most are not. This is your chance. You don’t have to have an open marriage, but at least take some time to consider it.

3.    There’s no trap

There are no invisible shackles. There are no invisible walls. You won’t feel trapped, because in an Open Marriage you maintain your freedom and discard your jealousy, not the other way around.

4.    Increased appreciation for your partner

How can you help but appreciate a partner who is willing to deny their jealousy, so that you can have it all.

Obviously, they benefit from this arrangement as well, but this is your opportunity to show your love by being empathetic, trusting, understanding and giving.

5.    Prove your love by sacrificing your jealousy, not by sacrificing your freedom

Can you be a white knight, who goes to slay your monstrous jealousy? It will take courage, self-sacrifice, understanding, devotion, resolve and tenacity.

Can you do it in order to give your spouse one of the greatest gifts of all…freedom?

6.    You make more people happy

If you make your wife or husband happy, that’s wonderful! Perhaps you have a natural ability to brighten the lives of others.

It’s unfortunate that you’re not brightening the lives of other men and women. Do you know anyone who’s terribly lonely, has never had an orgasm, or always manages to end up with a loser, when they’re looking for a healthy relationship?

In an open marriage, you are free to play hero. You can be the savior and help make more people happy.

7.    You could be loved by many, instead of a few

Who else would love you? How many perfect partners are in this world for you? There are almost assuredly more than one.

Wouldn’t it be exciting, fun and interesting to try to find your other soul mates, to see what they’re like and how you can brighten and enlighten one another’s lives?

8.    Group sex becomes more likely

Some of the most tantalizing sexual fantasies are threesomes, foursomes, orgies and the like.

The sky is the limit and there are endless possibilities when you maintain your own sexual freedom. With your partner’s compliance and support, the two of you will have the surprisingly rare opportunity to partake of a rare range of erotic delights.

The buffet table is open and not only are you free to choose, but you have the wonderful opportunity to share the ultimate meal with your favorite partner. Enjoy the meal together.

9.    You don’t have to deal with all the unnatural restrictions

You know that wonderful feeling when you’re just getting to know someone and you find that miraculous instant connection? There’s excitement, smiles, laughter and the hope for a brighter future.

With an open marriage, you can spend the time necessary to get to know friends of both sexes and you can enjoy the breathtaking flirtation and eroticism of all the games of seduction that you would otherwise be attempting to forego.

10.    Your learning won’t be stunted intellectually, emotionally or sexually.

We learn a tremendous amount from others; intellectually, emotionally and sexually.

In a monogamous marriage, you’re generally going to cut yourself off from many people and limit your closeness to others. You’re likely to only be learning from your partner and there’s only so much you can garner from one person.

You’re limited to reading a single book. Now think of how much better your world would be if an entire library was available to you.

11.    Energize your sex life with your spouse

Once your sex drive shakes off the rust with its new-found freedom, you’ll feel your libido rise. You’re appetite for physical gratification will be kick-started by an endless range of possibilities and you will want to share this passionate love-making, burgeoning eroticism and desire for experimentation with the one you love the most, your spouse.

12.    You won’t negate other potential loves

Everyday, you walk down the street and through the hallways. You see people who may interest you. Most of them, you will never talk to, or get to know. They could be one of the most wonderful and amazing people you’ve never met, but you’ll never know them, because you’ve set this unnatural self-imposed limit.

If you and your spouse agree to an Open Marriage, you open yourselves up to a wealth of new friends, business contacts and lovers.

13.    You will show your love more by being more giving

Being generous, understanding, trusting and giving is better than being jealous, greedy and controlling.

14.    Fantasies are still possible

In a marriage with a good and healthy sex life, you’ve probably already tried almost all of the sexual fantasies you have.

Now what? What’s left to fantasize about? Your spouse?

There’s not much fantasy there. The best fantasies are the things you only wish you could obtain, things you haven’t already had and could have again whenever you want.

An Open marriage will invigorate your fantasies, because those infinite possibilities will bubble forth from a spring of guilt-free imagination.

15.    Variety is still available

It’s all still there! You have options and possibilities.

If you have a child, or had a child, would you only tell them to eat one food for their entire life?

No?

Well, then why is it that that’s exactly what we tell adults when they get married?

Shouldn’t we all know better by now?

16.    You won’t get stuck in a loveless relationship

So many spouses remain in unhappy marriages like zombies and they tell themselves they’re sacrificing their own happiness for their kids, or they say it’s because of their obligations to their faith.

In an Open Marriage, you’ll never be a caged zombie and your children will not begin to see you that way. Likewise, your faith will not make you a slave to your marriage. After all, your marriage should work for you. You should not work for your marriage.

17.    You won’t have to be jealous of single people

Most married people are jealous of the single set, who maintain all the freedom to pursue any love interest they wish and all the excitement, those hopes and dreams present.

In an Open Marriage, you don’t have to be jealous of single people. You have their freedom and one-up them by maintaining a great stable marriage. Whether they can feel free to admit it or not, you might just be the envy of all you survey.

18.    You could actually lower the jealousy in your relationship

Many people suppose that an Open Marriage would cause an increase in jealousy, since spouses will know their partners are enjoying intimacy with other people. This might be true, but there are three reasons to believe it won’t be.

First, to agree to an open marriage, you need to let go of your jealousy and bury it. Instead of trying to hold on to an unnatural amount of control in your relationship and relying more on jealousy, you’re dismissing it. It’s no longer needed in your relationship. It’s been exorcised. It’s been replaced by honesty, understanding, openness, empathy, benevolence and freedom.

Secondly, your own freedom can help you forget all about what your spouse is doing. You’re going to have your own exciting new exploits to enjoy and your own adventures to have.

Thirdly, you’re likely to feel a renewed and intensified appreciation for your partner and their support. As their libido flairs, you should benefit from increased passion and intimacy, which is likely to draw both of you even closer.

19.    Increase the pleasure in your life

A lot more sex, and a lot better sex, means a lot more pleasure, which for most people, equates to a dramatic increase in overall happiness.

20.    You may increase the love in your relationship

For many close-minded individuals, they will assume that spouses in an Open Marriage love each other less, but it is possible that they love each other even more.

They’re swallowing their jealousy to give their partner more freedom, in an attempt to make them happier and improve their relationship. And they’re also remaining with their partner for the right reasons, despite, not only the existence of temptation, but the even the tangible availability of it.

21.    You will stay in your marriage out of love & friendship, not law and contract

Instead of being a lonely person who is tempted by other options, but comes home out of loyalty, legal obligation and duty, you will be a hot commodity who comes back to your spouse out of love, affection and admiration.

22.    Larger families could be better for rearing children

If you and/or your spouse take other lovers and everyone gets along well, they could become friends of the family.

They could help teach, play with and baby-sit your kids. If you find a new lover you can trust, it’s better than trusting your children with strangers, which is what many people have to do, for lack of close personal contacts.

23.    Can responsibly propagate more

Depending on what type of open marriage you want, you could actually have planned children with another lover.

This possibility offers several benefits, the most important of which is offering the option to have children to couples who cannot conceive naturally. They could still have a biological child from one of the parents and not pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for invetro fertilization, which is beyond the average person’s capacity to afford.

Secondly, for married couples who already have one or more children, but one spouse wants more children while the other does not, this could potentially be a compromise that would satisfy both partners.

24.    You can settle without settling

Many people promise themselves they won’t “settle” when they select a spouse.

Unfortunately, this is easier said then done, as many people choose unwisely, others are misled, some don’t know what they’re really looking for and others become too lonely or frustrated to wait any longer. Still others don’t have the self-confidence to say, “No.”

The point is that you can settle down without accidentally settling for less than you wanted. This is no knock on your current spouse, if you’re already married, but this is protection for those seeking to marry.

If you somehow get less than you bargained for, your life is no longer over, because you can still search out other positive relationships and use them to supplement your life.

25.    You won’t have to face the stigmas associated with a loveless and dysfunctional marriage

You may face stigmas about polygamy and/or promiscuity, but you’re likely to get more jealous friends, who are trying to figure out how you made such a sweet deal, then you are, complainers and religious bigots who want to rub your nose in it.

You’re less likely to be stigmatized as that unhappy married couple who stays together out of convenience, or obligation, though they no longer love each other and lack all the passion and fiery love, which should be present in any marriage.

26.    Doesn’t encourage cheating, lying or deception, like traditional marriage

You don’t need to lie, mislead, or withhold information from your partner, because you need to conceal the fact that you have your social and sexual freedom. 

In an Open Marriage, your social and sexual freedom have already been given to you! Instead of having many of your desires locked away in Pandora’s box, you’re given all the good things the world has to offer and all you need to do is be honest.

27.    You will probably have less time with your spouse, but it will be better time

It’s true, you are likely to be dividing your time amongst more people, so you will probably have less time to spend with your spouse, but the good news is that it will probably be time that’s better spent.

Instead of quantity, your marriage will be filled with quality, as both of you can be happy and satisfied, while you enjoy a loving and productive marriage.

They say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” and by being away from your primary lover long enough to miss them, your time together will be enhanced all the more, as will your appreciation of everything they bring to the table. 

28.     It’s fun to make your own marriage rules and live by them

Guess what, once you take the road less traveled, as Walt Whitman would say, you no longer have to play by everyone else’s rules.

You and your spouse should come to an understanding on how you want your open marriage to operate and what your expectations are.

Be honest. This is one of the only chances you may have in your life to truly play God. Grasp it with both hands. Enjoy it. The two of you can try to shape your marriage into anything you want it to be.

By deciding to have an open marriage, the one thing you’ve already decided is to keep your relationship from being a detrimental and malevolent trap. You are also taking the early leaning towards freedom, empathy, understanding, benevolence and giving, rather than jealousy, greed and fear. It’s a good place to start. 

29.    If you’re happy, you can be a better parent to your children

Happy parents make better parents and better role models. Would anyone care to argue with that logic?

No. Okay, so here’s the whole premise. You have your freedom and you’re more satisfied, liberated and happy than ever before. You are free to be better in your professional life, better in your personal life, better in your marriage and better in your most important role, as a parent.

30.    Every day can still be a fresh start

Instead of rolling out of bed, each day to the same life as the day before, you will have renewed possibility to change, adapt, improve and experiment with your life. The invigorating mission to explore and improve continues at last.

Imagine your marriage is a NASA space rocket, blasting off into outer space. Do
you only want to explore one planet, or would you like to explore the whole universe?

Comments sent

32 comment(s).
Sunny - 12/14/2017 1:47:41 PM
Dear Sir

Hi
I went through the 30 reason and observed that same things are happening in my life after my 20 years of marriage ,Sometimes i am excited and sometimes fear when my love do not comes near to me .Can you suggest what to do
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Peter - 8/13/2017 5:40:36 AM
My wife has just suggested that we start an open marriage. I'm currently overseas for a job, and will be for several months. I have a few big fears; while the idea intrigues me greatly, the biggest issues I have with saying yes to her are that if I were to start seeing other women, I would regress into what I refer to as "empty", not feeling anything for anyone and would lose my ability to love her. Two, when I get back the knowledge of her sleeping with others will affect me everyday and I won't be able to look at her the same, and eventually destroy our marriage because of it. And three, lose her. Have her call in love with someone else and decide that I'm not worth it and want to divorce me.

We are a new marriage, only married since December (it's august the following year) and as it's new I am not sure I can handle this. I want to say yes, but at the same time I don't, and I don't know what to do.
Joseph - 6/11/2017 1:07:03 AM
My wife and I have been married for 22 years. Twelve years ago, my wife brought up the subject of open marriages, and mentioned that a female co-worker had one with her husband. She said that she was intrigued by the stories and the experiences it had on her, her husband and their marriage. She asked me if I ever wanted to be with another woman, and I was honest and said yes and I asked her if she ever wanted to be with another man and she was honest and said she did. We continued exploring the pros and cons of an open marriage. My main concern is whether we were strong enough to end an open marriage if one of use felt that it was simply too much for her/him and wanted to go back to a closed marriage. Would we put each other FIRST and not be resentful? So we promised each other, that if we were ever to take the plunge that the "pull the plug" option was not going to be an issue.

A year later, my wife confesses to me that she has a crush on a new co-worker and asked me if I had a crush on another woman? I said that I did and it was one of her cousins. She then said that she was worried that if things turned out bad with her cousin and me, that her cousin could inform the rest of her family and then a sh!t storm would come down on top of us. I agreed and then she asked me if we could try out an open marriage for a time? I said only if its two sided; that it should be kept strictly sexual; and that there would be NO secrecy and we would willing share with each other everything about our encounters as well as out deepest thoughts and feelings. So she went about having a friends-with-benefits with her male co-worker. I started an exercise and diet routine, new clothes as well as learning from dating coaches on the best ways for a married man to find a female fuck buddy. After a few months, I looked pretty good and a couple of her married female friends told my wife that they wouldn't mind taking me to bed if I wasn't her husband. My wife said that she was tempted to tell them "go for it" but quickly discarded the idea because that would be an invitation for them to cheat on their husbands and that would not be right. I agreed but still thanked her for the thought.

A short time later I found a woman who became my fuck buddy and we started seeing each other twice a week. My wife was relieved and said she no longer felt guilty about having a lover and I didn't. She was very supportive and very happy for me. But a few months later, I started noticing that her normal and happy self went missing and I became worried that I finally asked her if she was ok and to please share with me what is going on. She broke down in tears and told me that she found out that her co-worker had a relationship with another woman from work. She said that she felt that her heart had been broken even though she knew that there was no vow of committment between them. That's when I knew that she inadvertantly had crossed the line and fell in love with her co-worker. I told her that I would exercise my option of "pulling the plug" and ending the open marriage experiment for the time being. She told me that she didn't want me to do that because she would feel guilty about destroying my sexual relationship with the other woman. I told her that my wife comes first above all others and that I would explain to my female friend with benefits, the reason why I am ending our relationship. And so I did and thankfully the other woman took it well and said that my wife was a very lucky woman to have a husband like me. I took care of my wife throughout her emotional upheaval and after a few months of therapy and TLC from yours truly, she was back to her happy loving self.

In our situation, one of the takeaways was that sometimes, without even planning for it, the line gets crossed and feelings of love do develop and when something like what my wife experienced happens, a world of pain and emotional scars ends up being the result.
Alice Rice - 4/18/2017 6:17:08 PM
Relationships are very different. Earlier in my life I had marriages that were happy and exciting. Then I married this fellow who is 5 years younger than me, and he refuses to give me sexual pleasure. I try to help him, and he won't. I hand him sex toys, and he drops them. He is my fourth husband. I no longer believe in marriage. I view it as a trap with a man who wants to misuse you. If we had stayed together, but unmarried, perhaps it would have been okay. All I have ever wanted is a close relationship with someone I love, and I had that for a while (husband 3), but he has been deceased for a few years. I live day in and day out without sex or company. I had a brief one-night stand last year in another town, and I am actually pleased about that. Men today could give a shit about women. They use them, and they go do whatever else it is that they do. My spouse would never care if I ever had sex again or if I ever felt loved again. He will come home late at the end of the night and proclaim his love, but he withholds sex, perhaps on purpose even. I don't even want sex from him anymore either because I am so angry at him. For years, I paid more for everything in our household than he ever did. The big problem I have now is that I am 5 years older than him, retired, and have less money than I did then. If I leave him, I will suffer yet again. We do care for each other as if we were family. That is, if either of us was sick we would take care of each other. We rely on each other financially and in some social situations. I cook for him and do his laundry, clean his house. Why not go for an open marriage? He might even like it. The question is whether or not he would try to make me pay in other ways. We are both smart people. We just sound stupid.
Logical Spiritualism - 11/18/2016 8:14:08 AM
BEEN REAL, you sound very traditional and not very sexually liberated.

The central idea of marriage is that you are going to love the same person and stick by them through the good times and the bad. It often also involves living together and often raising a family together. You can have all those things in an open marriage as well.

The only difference would be that you both agree to involve other sexual partners in one way or another.
BEEN REAL - 9/15/2016 8:03:53 PM
THIS IS A VERY IGNORANT ARTICLE...AN OPEN MARRIAGE DEFEATS THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE...PAY ATTENTION TO THE WEDDING VOWS WHEN YOU GET MARRIED...WHY GET MARRIED IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE AN OPEN MARRIAGE? PEOPLE'S VIEWS OF MARRIAGE ARE COMPLETELY SCREWED...I DONT SEE ANY JOY IN EXPERIENCING INTACT AND SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN THE ONE YOU HAVE EXCHANGED WEDDING VOWS WITH...
Logical Spiritualism - 2/17/2016 11:18:37 PM
Natty, you ask a good question.

First, perhaps we should consider the posibilty that the problem is not opposite amounts of libido, but rather that you, or the type of sex you are having is perhaps not as inspiring or desirable for your partner, thus the low-libido.

If this is not the case and your partner loves you and enjoys sex with you very much, then probably it is a matter of a low libido. Such problems may benefit from medication like Viagra. I believe testosterone might also help with that.

If neither of the first two potential solutions are desirable, you could consider an open relationship. If you do it, try to talk about it openly and honestly when your partner is not stressed out or rushed. Make some quiet time for it where you can talk in a sort of safe haven and try not to blame your partner. Hopefully, you can discuss the problem and reach some sort of mutually agreeable solution together.

On Logicalspiritulaism.com there are several articles about Open Marriage that might be useful for you to print and use as a framework to discuss what type of agreement the two of you might like to consider and why.

I hope that helps.
Natty - 1/30/2016 2:17:02 AM
My boyfriend and I are discussing marriage. I love him so much, but we are not sexually compatible. He has low libido and ED, while I have a high sex drive. This leaves me very sexually frustrated and sometimes there is too much tension between us because I'm angry at him. I know I shouldn't be. I have been thinking of suggesting an open marriage. How do I go about it?
Logical Spiritualism - 1/12/2016 9:39:45 PM
Well, Chad. You sound like a loving husband who appreciates his wife in many ways and giving her her sexual freedom is a great gift!!!

However, you might want to set some ground-rules before your fantasy becomes a reality and also remember, not all women want to take other lovers, so some of them will not take kindly to being frequently pushed in that direction.
Logical Spiritualism - 1/12/2016 9:35:47 PM
Good point, John Doe.

Men are often the ones pushing for non-exclusivity, but it is often the women who find it much easier to find new sexual partners, since most men are always willing.

For anyone who is interested in some form of open relationship, make sure you imagine what it will be like for you when your partner is out having sex with another person and you are sitting home alone, before you make any decision to make your relationship polygamous.
Logical Spiritualism - 1/12/2016 9:32:26 PM
Zuzu, there are different types of open marriages. It is true that if you are married and loyal and your partner just has no interest, then there is nothing you can do.

However, some partners might be enticed by the right opportunities/ground rules. Perhaps instead of calling it an "open marriage," where there are no boundaries, perhaps you could discuss opportunities to invite other partners into your bedroom to share in some mutually stimulating ways with your partner.
Chad - 12/23/2015 3:12:28 PM
I'm in the process of getting my wife to think about other men sexually. She really enjoys the bedroom, pillow talk, her orgasm's are really intense. We've been married since 2004, together since 2002. She's in her 30's (sexual peak) 5ft11, long red hair, green eyes, 34 C/D and a nice body because she's a vegetarian and works out. She recently started an office job downtown, so I know she's interacting with a lot of men, probably good looking. I'd say our marriage is pretty strong but we do argue once in a while like most married couples. The thought of her flirting during the day turns me on because I know she's naturally flirtatious and friendly. I've been encouraging her to broaden her base of friends in a male dominated business world. There will be plenty of opportunity on business trips for her to step outside the marriage and in bedroom talk I make that perfectly clear that it's alright for her to do so. I'm hoping she can find a regular thing, once a week kind of deal or more because the more women have sex, the happier they are. Every husband should want the wife to be happy, no matter what
John Doe - 10/28/2015 1:43:10 AM
If you are a female, open marriage is always positive for you. You can get laid, whenever you want. But if you are a fugly, not charming guy, you will never get laid. So, think twice if you are male. Other males will screw your son's mom and you will screw some cheap hooker.
zuza - 8/13/2015 8:40:38 AM
I soo wish this would be more talked about before i got married. I realized after you marry there will be other partners you would like to try but you cant, not just sexually but you really fall in love and you just have to say sorry I cant I am married and it is very hard. I cant have open marriage as i didn't mentioned it before to my husband and i blame this all on culture which show us only one way of doing things.Lucky are people who can do this.
Logical Spiritualism - 7/28/2015 9:38:46 PM
Wow, Canadian Girl, there is so much to address and assess.

First of all, sorry to hear your marriage isn't that great. Do you think it's worth working on your marriage to try to improve it?

Bringing outsiders into a weak marriage situation is more likely to tear it apart than envigorate it.

Secondly, how are you going to have an Open Marriage without intercourse and how will that spice up your sex life?

That is a bit confusing in and of itself, but also, if that is really the plan, I am not sure how many male takers you will be able to find for sex without intercourse. Well, come to think of it, you probably won't have much trouble finding that either.

Finally, I understand you may feel like this non-intercourse semi-open marriage...whatever the heck those things are, will make up for lost time, but I am wondering how your husband is going to feel about all this. Many men would be far less than thrilled with the idea.

Please take these things into consideration.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do! Thanks for sharing and it would be great if you could let us all know how things work out for you.
CanadianGirl - 7/27/2015 9:02:16 PM
So I'm thinking I would like to try having a semi open marriage. No intercourse but the other things are ok. Our marriage isn't great but I just can't get over the feeling of wanting more. I've been overweight almost my entire life and I've lost a lot of weight and now am getting attention from guys and feel like I lost out on having fun when I was single. Totally my fault and not my husband's but I fear I will continue to regret not getting it out of my system. Plus I'm thinking it will spice up our sex life. We've been together for 14 years now.
Logical Spiritualism - 6/27/2015 10:10:17 PM
Congratulations, Jennifer, on taking the road less traveled, as Walden would say!

It may be a harder road and full of loops and pitfalls and things that some people perhaps have never dealt with, but hopefully it is all the more rewarding for it in the end.

I wish you both the best of luck in your new adventure and I am very glad the article has helped you along your journey!
Jennifer - 6/26/2015 12:57:36 PM
Thank you for this article. My husband and I are just beginning our journey into this lifestyle, and this article was very insightful. We've been married for almost 17 years and have 4 children and needed a change. I would rather him be honest with me than go behind my back to do something. We haven't progressed really far yet, but I can already tell a difference in our marriage. Both in and out of the bedroom. My only regret is that we didn't make this decision sooner, but hey maybe we weren't ready.
Logical Spiritualism - 5/15/2015 1:57:41 PM
Good for you, Nick! Your relationship sounds like proof that such things can be done successfully.

Unfortunately, there aren't many people so adept and willing to exchange their jealousy for greener pastures.

Thanks for sharing!
NICK - 5/15/2015 3:41:33 AM
I agree with most of the above apart from the having children with another. I am in an open relatinship with my partner although it is a one sided one. I wish to remain totally failtful to my partner, however she is free to date other guys and have a lover /lovers. We both love each other very much. We have no jealousy in our relationship and the fact that she is free to see whomever she choses adds and extra exciting dimension. She is totally upfront and honest, and tells me every single detail about her exploits. I love it as does she.
Logical Spiritualism - 4/23/2015 10:51:48 PM
Well, A.C. thanks for sharing!!!

No one should feel obligated to have an open marriage. If it is something you want and both partners think they are comfortable with, then go for it!

But first, consider the state of your relationship also. If you want your relationship to work and things are not going well, this is not likely to be the answer that brings you closer together. You would need to have a very good, very stable relationship for this to be likely to work well for both partners and the relationship.

But consider this also, A.C., just because you're not entirely comfortable with something certainly doesn't mean it is wrong for you. Think about asking a girl out who you're really crazy about. You probably had a pit in your stomach and were very uncomfortable, but it doesn't mean it was wrong.

The point being that people should not be disuaded from trying new things, because things make them uncomfortable. Some might argue that the only new things worth trying are the ones that take us beyond our comfort-zone and make us broaden our horizons.

If you are going to try something that takes an important part of your life in a completely new direction, then expect to weather some worry and discomfort, but hopefully the adventure will be worth the price of admission.
A.C. - 4/23/2015 8:13:21 AM
My case is exactly the opposite. My wife its the one who pitched the idea of an open relationship. She used to be a sexual recluse. Her and I have only ever had sex with each other. She learned all her fetishes from me and now she wants an open relationship. At first I agreed but within the first hours of agreeing the thought of another man inside my side put a put in my stomach and brought be to my knees. I want to indulge this fantasy but I can't seem to being myself to do it.
Logical Spiritualism - 1/1/2015 5:15:40 PM
Not sure why your comments are disjointed with cut and paste problems, but very well-said in sound-mind, Peter!!!

Thanks for your comments!

It seems a wonderful working open-marriage with staying power, would be highly logical and beneficial to both partners, but most relationships clearly aren't strong enough and jealousy usually gets in the way, thus dooming things.

A great open-marriage is almost as hard to find as an incredible exclusive marriage, almost like searching for a needle in a haystack or seeing a unicorn!
Peter Paramo - 1/1/2015 11:13:37 AM
It is often the husbands who are intrigued and enticed by the idea of an open marriage because of the potential for sexual opportunities, while their wives tend to be more reluctant because of the potential destruction of their marriages.

The wives tend to be wiser than their husbands in this respect because it takes very special couples who can partake of this arrangement without it blowing up in their faces. These couples tend to have a consistent marital history of profound devotion towards each other; keeping their promises to one another; don't engage in secret behaviors and hide them in the name of personal privacy (open books); and they place their relationship above that of their relationship with their children because without it, their children's well being would be in jeopardy. Ironically, they are also the kind of people who really don't view an open marriage as something necessary or essential. They place their trust in each other as the number one non-negotiable moral value. They know about the dangers of crossing mutually agreed boundaries and are ever vigilant. If they partake in it at all, it will often be far and in between as a very short vacation from each other. And they are more than willing and able to jettison the extra marital relatioIt is often the husbands who are intrigued and enticed by the idea of an open marriage because of the potential for sexual opportunities, while their wives tend to be more reluctant because of the potential destruction of their marriages.

The wives tend to be wiser than their husbands in this respect because it takes very special couples who can partake of this arrangement without it blowing up in their faces. These couples tend to have a consistent marital history of profound devotion towards each other; keeping their promises to one another; don't engage in secret behaviors and hide them in the name of personal privacy (open books); and they place their relationship above that of their relationship with their children because without it, their children's well being would be in jeopardy. Ironically, they are also the kind of people who really don't view an open marriage as something necessary or essential. They place their trust in each other as the number one non-negotiable moral value. They know about the dangers of crossing mutually agreed boundaries and are ever vigilant. If they partake in it at all, it will often be far and in between as a very short vacation from each other. And they are more than willing and able to jettison the extra marital relationship, if they realize that it is affecting their marriage. Sadly, the vast number of marriages don't even come close to this level strength and health.

Lastly, it is often the case where the reluctant spouse, usually the wife, is the one who will have more success in attracting members of the opposite sex for extra marital sex. Let's face it, how much more likelier is it to convince a great many men to have sex with a willing married woman than convincing women to have sex with a willing married man? I think we all know the answer to that question which should also serve as a warning to enthusiastic spouses, usually the husbands, that it may backfire on them. nship, if they realize that it is affecting their marriage. Sadly, the vast number of marriages don't even come close to this level strength and health.
Tisha Feinstein - 9/5/2014 4:15:34 PM
Whatcha think
Logical Spiritualism - 8/9/2014 5:01:31 PM
To Alessia Ventura,

You sound as though you are the victim of some serious religious brain washing.

First, Yoda made an excellent point in their response to you. You are neither cheating nor betraying any trust if you have an agreement that you are honoring. If the agreement is that your relationship is open, there is no breach of trust in having an open relationship.

You take many other things for granted. For example, you mention breaking your vows, but many people write their own vows and their vows could be anything. Having an open marriage doesn not automatically desicrate a persons vows.

The most humorous thing about your message is that you obviously believe people have no control over their emotions, such as love. It is ironic that perception comes from a woman, since women are known for being overly emotional and having trouble seperating sex from emotion. However, it is certainly an interesting topic for debate.

Lets ask the community... Can people control their emotions?
Love for example, can we control it, or does it take us whether we want it to or not?
Sarah - 7/26/2014 7:19:06 PM
I have been in an open marriage for 21 years. My husband and I have a very strong and loving relationship. Don't judge others' decisions. If it isn't for you that is fine, but for many it does work well.
yoda - 7/21/2014 10:41:53 PM
Alessio you're a fucking retard.
How exactly are you breaking someone's trust when you are acting on an agreement.
When you cheat behind your spouses back that is breaking trust. This is about sex Not Love, fucking wake up.
Alessio Ventura - 6/29/2014 10:03:49 AM
Whoever wrote this article is indeed a person in need of help. Trust is the key to any marriage, and once you sleep with another person while in a trusted relationship with a spouse, you break that trust, which IS the glue that bonds you. The person who wrote this article does not understand the underpinnings of trust, and/or uas never been in a marriage. Let's say you are married, and you decide, with the blessing of your spouse, to engage in seual intercourse with a man. You take him, all of him, and because it is out of your control, you fall in love with him. At that moment, at that very moment you fall in love with that other man, the bond of trust you had with your husband has been forever broken. You can intellectualize this all you want, mistakenly believing that you can be open secually within a marriage. But just like you have no control over the laws if physics, you have no control over the emotional bonds that come, and those that are broken, once you break your vows, the TRUST bond you had with your soul mate. It is truly sad to see such rubbish make it to print. I pray for you, whoever you are.
Anibal Alvarado Brizuela - 12/13/2013 2:06:00 PM
In my personal opinion there is no reason to cheat on your partner. If you have a serious compromise with somebody. You have to keep in mind that many sexual illness come from an open relationships when one of the person doesn´t take cautions.
DAVID CORDERO - 12/5/2013 1:55:21 PM
I THINK NOT OPEN RELATIONSHIPS ARE GOOD FOR A RELATIONSHIP, ESPECIALLY IN SOCIETY OCCIEDENTAL, I THINK THAT THE COUPLE SHOULD BE FAIR.
PERHAPS FOR A WHILE THE RELATIONSHIP BECOME SOMETHING INTERESTING, BUT THEN THEY WILL GET A VERY DIFFERENT ENDS AS THE ORGY.
IS HEALTHY FOR ME TO KEEP A PERSON IN YOUR LIFE AS STABLE WAY THAT GIVES COMFORT AND HAPPINESS.

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